Is Reform Kashrut an Oxymoron?

My husband and I were having a discussion a couple days ago about Judaism in general, but specifically my efforts toward keeping kosher. I am converting under the auspices of Reform Judaism, mainly because that's the affiliation of our local synagogue (much like Yair, I live far out in the Diaspora), but also because I doubt any other branch would be willing to convert a married woman whose husband is firmly against her conversion and whose children will be raised in an interfaith fashion, rather than as Jews.

There was an interesting discussion on kashrut over on Jews by Choice a week or so ago. I'll just share one point made by Avi, but if you're interested the entire post and comment thread is full of well thought out responses.

What I’m still curious about, is just what do reform Jews mean by keeping kosher? To my mind Kashrut is (or at least it is intended to be) something of an objective measure. Kosher is A and not B. I’m not sure how that works in a community where no such standards exist. Two Reform Jews can call themselves Jew’s who keep kosher but may mean two totally different things by it. I’m not sure that Rivkah saying that she “keeps kosher according to her evolving standards” really means anything at all other than to her as an individual. Don’t get me wrong that’s fine within the context of individual Observance but Kashrut, as I see it, depends upon accepted community standards. I’m not suggesting that everyone follows the standard but rather that it is at least accepted as the standard by which Kashrut is measured.

I guess that I’m with the Orthodox on this one Rivkah.

Anyhow bottom line is that (from my POV at any rate) it’s good to see that Reform Jews seem to be interested in working with this form of Observance.

So what do Reform Jews mean by "keeping kosher?" If halakha isn't binding on the Reform community, what is our measure for what is or is not kosher? Do we draw the line at pork and seafood? Do we keep kosher in some settings but not others? Do we not mix meat and milk?

As Avi pointed out, my efforts to keep kosher are fine on an individual basis, but don't mean anything in the context of Judaism worldwide. Something I mentioned in my response to the post was my experience last Hanukkah when I brought a homemade apple and cranberry sauce to our shul's dinner. Some people ate it, but many bypassed it. It wasn't until I paid more attention to what was offered on the buffet and what people chose for their plates that I realized what might have affected the popularity (or lack thereof) of my dish: many seemed to be keeping strict kosher. I should have realized this before, because we had a conversation about bringing dishes during our "crash" Hebrew course earlier that week. Although this congregation is affiliated Reform, because it serves a wide area as the only synagogue, many who may otherwise have chosen to be Conservative attend. Because of this, the laws of Kashrut affect all of us, Reform or not.

It was ironic that this blog post and discussion were echoed by my husband the other night. He wanted to know why I wasted my time trying to keep "kosher" when I wasn't in fact keeping kosher properly. My husband has been the victim of many one-sided discussions of the ins and outs of Judaism over the past several months, so he's aware of what keeping Kashrut entails: separate dishes for milk and meat, allowing time to elapse between eating milk and meat, looking for the approved hekhsher on packages, and the kosher slaughter of animals for meat to be acceptable. The effort it would take to make our home kosher, both physically and emotionally within our marriage, is staggering. This is a main component of why I don't keep true kosher: a freezer with bacon sitting beside non-kosher hamburger negates any effort on my part to not eat dairy with that hamburger. The same pots and pans are used for pork, other meats, and dairy, thus rendering any food cooked therein treif.

So why do I try to keep kosher in my own little way? Because as much as Reform Judaism may say halakha isn't binding, I still feel the pull that this is part and parcel of my life as a Jew. Perhaps, in different circumstances, I would be Conservative. My husband tries to understand this need of mine, but he can't. I don't blame him, because I can't explain or truly understand it either. Although it may be a failed effort on my part, I'll continue to make it. For me, it is a piece to the puzzle of walking humbly with my G-d.