Cultural Conversion?

I spoke with a very sweet young woman the other day. She overheard me talking about conversion, and I noticed her beautiful hamsa necklace. It turns out that her mother converted to Judaism after deciding to marry this woman's father, who is a Jew by birth. After we discussed my reasons for conversion and the difficulties holding me back (trying to maintain peace in my marriage and continuity for my children), she shared her experiences. She laughed and said, "it's really simple, just a dip in a bath and you're through!" Then she went on to ask if I would "give" my daughter a bat mitzvah, and talked about how wonderful growing up in a school whose population was approximately half Jewish, especially during her seventh grade year, when they "had bat mitzvahs every weekend, with bands and deejays and light shows...It was awesome! You should really do it for your daughter."

I suppose my quietness in the face of her excitement must have spoken to her, because she quickly added that she is only culturally Jewish, and that I shouldn't worry if I didn't want to convert religiously. She shared that the Jewish community was very accepting, and that it was a wonderful thing.

I have to admit, I'm a bit skeptical about the ability of someone to convert culturally, without any real appreciation or practice of Judaism as a religion. I've heard before that people do it, but I'm not sure how they would go about it...perhaps these people are already part of Jewish families by marriage, and so feel as though they might as well be Jewish, since they live it.

Her enthusiasm was wonderful, even though I can't agree that the purpose of a young person becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah is for a wild party. ;) I also had to control my smile when she waved her hand airily and said, "it's just a dip in the bath." Au contraire, mon amie! At least, it hasn't been that simple thus far. I don't think I would want it to be that simple, even if it could be. There is so much I want to learn and experience in order to feel I am a bona fide Jew, and a simple dip in the mikveh wouldn't have the same importance to me as feeling the weight of the knowledge of history, and the awareness of how much I don't know!

But she is a very sweet and knowledgeable person, and I enjoyed talking with her. I hope we're able to talk more in the future. I also hope to be able to live up to the last thing she told me before we parted: "If this is what you feel is the right thing, don't let anything stand in the way of doing it. It's really wonderful, being Jewish."

Despite the heartaches, the struggles, the losses, the unspeakable horrors throughout history...it's really wonderful, being Jewish. Amen.

Shabbat Shalom!