On Conversion and Children

I'm sure every parent has looked down into their child's face as a sleeping infant and wanted for them the best, the least difficult, the most perfect life. I've read more than one article which was based on the premise that babies bring a spiritual reawakening into the home along with their first breath. I can't say that my spiritual reawakening was instantaneous, but there's nothing like the miracle of new life to make someone want to bless the heavens. If this new life ushers in a more devout mindset, a desire to pass this faith to the next generation, all the better. Children are remarkably open to whatever their parents tell them in their early years. Whether that sticks or not is up for questioning, but in the beginning even the Tooth Fairy is real, and G-d is in His heaven looking down on the world, tugging on His long, grey beard as He surveys His creation.

This raises a problem for a convert who is already a parent at that critical time. What do you tell your children? Do you open up their world to such bleak doubt? Once broken, is their trust and faith forever shattered, or will they simply follow the lead they are given?

While reading a children's book titled Many Ways, a book on the commonalities among the world's great religions, my school-aged daughter kept looking for symbols and rituals that were "English," ie, Christian. While I was drawn automatically to the Judaica, the Mogen David, the Shabbat candlelighting, the Torah scrolls, the kipa, she was drawn to the crosses, the baptisms, the choirs, the hot cross buns. When she said, "this is us, Mommy," I didn't have the heart to tell her, "No, that is you, dear. This over here is Mommy." How do you tear your family apart, setting yourself opposite that which you have taught your child, and putting your very self in opposition to hers?