Night

I read the book Night years ago. Our seventh grade teachers worked together to create a history and English collective unit which would address the Holocaust and our literary goals at the same time. It's amazing how a month or two of intensive study of a single topic can impact one's view of the world for a lifetime. Perhaps the reason behind that is the topic itself: the Holocaust.

Most of the history classes I've taken have given a brief overview of the Holocaust. It's assumed that everyone simply knows about it, having picked up the knowledge through osmosis in our culture. Who doesn't recognize the names Mengele, Eichmann, Himmler, Goering, or Hitler? Who hasn't seen Schindler's List and doesn't remember the little girl in red? Who hasn't read or seen The Diary of Anne Frank? Who hasn't heard of Auschwitz-Birkenau, Buchenwald, Dachau, Treblinka, or Sobibor?

Perhaps these names and images are so familiar to me because of that unit, but a long time has passed between then and now. As I'm reading in preparation for conversion, I'm viewing these places, people, and events with the eyes of an adult, a parent, and a Jew. Rather than thinking as I did then how thankful I was not to have been in jeopardy, I think "What if this happens again? What am I exposing myself and my children to?" The largest question looming, overarching, is "Is this worth it?"

No one wants to face such things. No one wants to put their children in harm's way. It's startling to think that I have the power of choice, when so many millions did not. It's humbling, it's frightening, and at times it feels shameful. How dare I ask myself these things, when others are simply born into it, and live as they are? Is it selfish to want to protect my children when so many others wanted the same and had no say? How could it not be?

I will never be a replacement for all those who were lost. That's simply not possible, unthinkable. How can I honor their memory? According to Elie Wiesel, we honor their memory by not letting it die. We must continue to share their stories, to remember what befell them, and to make sure that it never happens again, to anyone.